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WELCOME
WELCOME
Welcome to spiritually me. There are many things in life
that we go through and experience. Some of these we share with close friends and
relatives. Some we just write in a diary or keep inside for eternity. From the
moment I was born, there was a purpose and a reason. And although I may not know
what that purpose is, I believe that it will be fulfilled.
What makes us spiritual, humane, and empathic? Surely it is a mystery, and one
that I have been trying to find for a long time. My words should be written. My
experiences should be documented. Idealistically, it may become something just
personal. But whatever comes from this, I am sure it will serve a purpose in
time.
It is believed that when a person gets close to death and they return from
death, they bring something back with them. Now, I've never personally been that
close to death to see light or anything. But, I have had my own experiences with
being very ill. And after getting better, things in my life were different in
many different ways. Probably since I was child, I could remember certain things
that made a difference. But I know, it’s just what is spiritually me.
When I was a child, I used to get sick. And when I say sick, I
mean I get sick. The ailments would be tonsillitis, strep throat, two inner ear
infections etc. Despite my persistent colds, flu’s, etc. I was rather an
intelligent, talented, and loving child. The last born out of 11 children. My
mother was of Native American descent. Living in a house full of brothers and
sisters, you had to learn to tolerate one another. My mother worked two jobs and
barely was around for us children. There really is no memory of my father at
this time of my life. Every Sunday and Wednesday I would go to church and sing
in the choirs, talent contests for the churches in the state of Pennsylvania as
well. In school, I was always in the choirs from elementary through high school.
Making friends was hard, but the unusual ones that had it hard would be my
better companions in life. I had a heart and knack for empathy and apathy. But I
didn't know that I would be an unusual too.
My skin was persistently conflicted with eczema ever since I was born and still
now in my adult life. Kids all the time made fun of me. The eczema would be so
bad that it would look really scary and ugly to other kids. Up until maybe
middle school is when the making fun and mocking started to slow down. But until
then all the ugliness I would experience in school was eight hours of hell.
Reading and learning were my favorite things when I was younger. And singing was
just one of the other ways I expressed my soul. Living and loving was what I
found in spirit. Now, I'm not talking about God, Jesus etc. I do believe in
them, but what I'm talking about is what I found inside of me. These things in
my life that I did, made me happy. I explain these, so that you will understand
my writings, understand me at a certain point in my life. Understand what makes
me spiritually me.
Musings
Dreams
Spiritual Blurbs
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New
Years Resolutions
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Resolutions are great, if you are one of those people
who make them and then most likely break them too. Some of them we
will succeed at and others we may not. Many reasons why a person can
fail to resolve that resolution is because they haven’t learned that
getting back up and trying again isn’t that hard.
Some of us have much harder lives than others. A constant battle
just to wake up every day, to finding a job. So we try something and
when we fail the end result is pure disappointment. Hence, we don’t
grow; achieve; learn; or believe.
It took more work just to get started. Why would you want to quit
now. It all comes down to desire and perseverance. None of our
destinies are mapped out for us to tell us to turn left here or
right there. The outcome of a choice could be eminent, but honestly
our destiny is ours to choose.
This year, try something new. DON'T make any resolutions but
one.
“To thy own self be true.”
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A
Christmas Remembrance
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When I was at the age of 14, my mother and I lived in
the south and we didn’t have much money. My mom was sick from time
to time and wasn’t working. From the time that I could remember we
always had a real Christmas tree. My mom would deck the house out
inside and out for the holidays. She would even spray the whole tree
with the fake snow and decorate around the windows. But that year,
we were starting a whole new life over and a tree wasn’t available.
Throughout that previous summer, my mother and I began to go to
church a lot together. But on this particular Sunday, I decided to
lie to my mother and tell her that I didn’t feel well.
So, my mother had gone to church without me, believing every word I
said. I took the saw and I headed down the gravel road about a mile
away. And chip chop, I was like George Washington cutting down the
Cherry tree. But instead, I was cutting down a pine. I grabbed the
tree by the base where I was cutting and I took the tree home
dragging it all the way. Of course I had a couple of friends help
me. We got the tree into the house, and I put it in the tree stand.
It was tall and beautiful. By then, I could remember my hands were
sore. Nobody told me that a pine tree would leave your hands hurting
and sap all over them.
I thought I would have time to decorate the tree, but mom had come
home from church. If you knew my mother, lying is a definite no no.
You lie to her, you get the belt. But I knew she would be surprised.
She walked in the door and she couldn’t believe her eyes. We were
having a hard enough time with things, and the tree just made that
Christmas even more better.
Anyway, I didn’t get in trouble. Mom understood and let me go out
with my friends. In fact, I stayed the night out. The next day I
went home to Christmas. Mom had cut the tree down just a little bit.
She said that it was a little too tall. And she decorated it with
whatever she could. That was my first Christmas alone with my mom.
That was my last Christmas with my mom.
I’ll never forget the look on my mothers’ face when she saw that
tree. Tears began to swell in her eyes. I wanted a tree, and I got
it. Although I didn’t ask the man whom I cut the tree down from for
it, but… I’m sure he wouldn’t have minded.
Merry Christmas My Friends
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A Word Of Strength
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I have been going through some serious struggles lately. From
emotional, spiritual, social, financial, mental stress, etc.; I find
myself traveling in unchartered territory. Learning new lessons and
seeing new ways is hard. It’s quite difficult to manage your life
and help anybody when it is so unbalaced and filled with negativity.
So, I went to see a friend in spirit and she told me a message from
my Grandmother. She said, “When things go awfully wrong in your life
or home, it’s because you bare the cross of Christ.” I was intriqued
by that kind of message. In fact, I believe I was more in awe that
my Grandmother even came through with a message like that.
See, my special gift is getting stronger through out this past year.
It is so difficult to explain it all to you. The activity and the
intensity of it all is amazing. Blessings, warnings, grace, and
love. I know the path that I must take in my life, and I’m welcoming
it in loving spirit towards heaven. Things are difficult, and things
are not always that difficult. But one thing is for sure…. I’m not
alone!
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